A's Orphanage - Last Day

Good Afternoon,

Today was our last day with A for several weeks. Our facilitator had a lot of work to do in the morning, so we were picked up at 1 pm. We had to go to a public notary, which here is more like a lawyer, to get some documents notarized. When we tried to leave, the entrance and exit was partially blocked because someone decided it was the right time to knock icicles off the roof (it was a 6 story building). They closed off a portion of the sidewalk in front of the building as well. We waited in the corridor for about 5 minutes, at which point someone decided they didn't want to wait any longer and we all left in a herd. We were told that people have been killed by falling icicles in this locality before, but it's a new experience to a southern boy like myself. 

Anyway, we arrived at the orphanage and had another joyous bear hug from A. We went back to the groupa house and today straight to her room. She wanted to play Jenga again, which we did, as well as take some more photographs. She loves the camera!

Can't wait til we are all reunited.

We're laughing because she's tickling us both in order to get us to laugh during the picture. Mission accomplished.

Happy girl. Happy papa.

Getting some gifts from Mama. 

A taking a picture of me taking a picture of her. She's peeking. Hard to see, but there are kids' underwear and clothes drying on the radiator beneath the window behind A. 

They look alike!

Also today, we got to spend a lot of time with her classmates. We brought construction paper, markers, and stickers for the whole class. A really enjoyed bringing them into the room, at which point all the children stood up and said "spaseeba" (Thank you!). They really seem to enjoy crafting. 

The kids and K (from Brentwood) playing with the craft supplies we brought them. Sweet little S is looking at the camera.

Lil K and V together in the groupa room.

Showing family pictures and videos to one of A's teachers (L).

A wanted to go back to the room, which we did. Her friends kept coming in to talk and play with us, which brought out a different side of A. She became protective, even possessive of us. At one point I think she told a child to leave. We heard her say "moya mama, moyi papa" (my mother, my father) in a defensive way. It demonstrates a lot about the life these children live. They generally share everything at the orphanage, with very few personal items. A is definitely not willing to share us! Through a translator, we told her that we weren't bringing any other children home with us and that we were her mother and father, and she understood. After that we again got to spend time with lil V, whom we mentioned in yesterdays blog, and lil A, one of A's friends.   

Lil V. This young man needs a family. 

Lil V was great at Jenga. 

Lil A. Sweet girl with a beautiful smile and a contagious laugh. She asked us for a mama and papa, as well. 

Later in the afternoon, we got a chance to sit down with A and our translator to ask A any questions we had and allow her to ask questions of us. The biggest revelation was when she told us that she didn't like pizza! She ate slice after slice, as often as we had it, which was often! She told the translator that she didn't like it but we kept making her eat it! We laughed and explained that we didn't intend to make her eat anything but she seemed to like it so we kept getting it. So on multiple occasions, she ate large quantities of a food she didn't like, I assume to please us! We learned that she does like fried potatoes, fruits, vegetables, and pancakes, among other things. She also said that she wants to learn English and to be a doctor for children when she grows up...or a princess! She asked about her room and we told her it will be exactly the same as when she was here in the summer! This brought out a big smile. The translator patiently explained how the rest of the process would go, describing how we would be travelling twice back to the country. A understood and seemed fine. Toward the end of the interview she said she couldn't wait to get to America with us! Finally, I got to say what I have wanted to say to her ever since she got back on the plane:

"A, we love you! We knew God wanted us to adopt you the first night you stayed with us. We didn't know for sure if we would be allowed to adopt you, so we didn't tell you. It was so hard not to. It was harder to watch you leave. The day you left us we started the adoption process and have been working to bring you home ever since." When this was translated to her, she gave me a big jump hug and held on tight for several seconds. This was a culminating moment for us. To protect herself, she probably had to assume that we weren't coming back for her, but I wonder if she harbored hope deep down. These children live in a world of broken promises, and trust is hard and dearly gained. I think she can look forward to our court date on the next visit with more hope than she has had in quite a while. 

We had about 45 minutes left before we had to leave, so we went outside to play in the snow.

It was 5 degrees F at the time of this picture. I had to squint. A wasn't even that cold. 

Me and my lovely wife. So happy we went on this adventure together. 

This was from yesterday, but it's perhaps my favorite picture of the trip. These two will be friends in the US just like they were friends here. There is nothing like joy in the face of a child.

We came back in for just a few minutes. When it was finally time to leave, we got bundled up as we had before. The walk through the snow back to the front of the school went well, as A again wanted to hold our hands and hold on to us. Emotionally, we were all OK, which was surprising, but we knew we would be back soon. A gave us several hugs and kisses. We told her we loved her and she told us the same. Then she made me promise to shave my beard when we come back because it made my face scratchy. This is an awfully cold place to be with a bare face, so I'm not sure about that one. Then again, I made a promise and I fully intend to keep it! Finally, our facilitator called out that we had to go now and so, with great reluctance, we did. But it wasn't easy. 

First goodbye.

Second goodbye.

There was a third bear hug with all three of us but it was not captured on camera. We spent the evening packing and preparing for tomorrow, when we will have a 6 hour ride back to Kiev for one night before flying out at 5:55 Sunday morning. We already miss A very much. At this point, it is no different than leaving one of our biological children for 2 weeks. This experience has been extraordinary, and my heart is full. There are so many more things I could write, more experiences to relay, so I've decided to blog each day until we return for the second and third trip to share them with the benefit of added perspective. 

In closing this trip, I have been feeling undoubtedly downcast. Three days was such a short amount of time after 6 months of waiting and anticipation. But we still have so much to do at home, and our three beautiful children, R, H, and J, waiting for us! The wait will be difficult, and the unrest in parts of this country will be on our minds. But we have things to prepare for, and two more trips to this country to make, and, thankfully, only one more goodbye to A. 

In Larry Taunton's book The Grace Effect, which I recommend for any family considering an adoption from Ukraine, he describes the sudden fear and anxiety that his adoptive daughter experienced upon hearing that he and his wife had to travel back to the US before they could return to complete the adoption process, just like we are doing. He instantly thought of the disciples during the Last Supper, when Jesus told them He was leaving, that they would look for Him and not see Him, that where He was going they could not follow. Shortly thereafter, he explains that He is going to prepare a place for them, and that when He is ready He will return and bring them to the place He has prepared. So he told his adoptive daughter, "We are going to prepare a place for you, and when we are ready, we will come back to get you." She was instantly calmed.

Our situation in no way warrants a comparison to the Crucifixion and Resurrection, and we will not see ourselves as saviours to A. We trust the Lord for that and rely on Him. He has gone and prepared a place for us, we who are so unworthy, and He will return for us! In remembrance, we can, while we are away, continue, with hope and joy, preparing a place for A, the daughter born in our hearts, abandoned and forgotten, now found and cherished, by God's grace and mercy. 

In my Fathers house are many rooms; if it were not so I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. - John 14:2-3