A's Orphanage - Day 2

Good morning all,

We just finished our second day with A. We started the day fairly early at the apartment and had a few stops to make on our way to the orphanage. Our facilitator, L, is really on the ball and is working tirelessly on our behalf, and at a breath-taking pace. She knows what she is doing and does it very well. If anyone reading this is considering adopting from Ukraine I highly recommend her team and will be happy to put you in touch. (wallfamilyadoption (at) gmail (dot) com)

We arrived at the orphanage and had a meeting first thing with the orphanage director. The director plays a key part in the adoption process, and will be present at court. His assent or dissent to the adoption could affect the overall outcome, so we were anxious to make a good impression. He came across as a kind man who was very protective of "his" children. He wanted to know our professions, and what our home life was like. He then wanted to make sure we understood A's situation from an academic and health perspective. After we confirmed, he said that he thought a loving family would be the most important thing for A to have in order to progress, and that if we give her that, everything else will come together. Finally, he wanted us to know that he understands her living conditions in the US will be much better than here, and that he wants her to have a good life and nice things, but not to be spoiled in our country. He said that he considered it God's will that we were here and welcomed us, and the meeting came to a close. Another part of the process was complete without any issue, thankfully. 

Now it was time to see A once again. We got a running, joint bear hug from her when she saw us. Yesterday we spent our time in the academic wing of her school. Today, we were going to her groupa house, where she lives and has day to day activities. You have to walk outside to get there, and she was very particular and fussy with me about putting on my gloves and wool hat so that I would be warm. We arrived and walked up three flights of stairs to the groupa room, shown below.

A retrieving a picture album to show us. 

The first thing A did was to pull out the picture album we sent back with her in July. One of her teachers, V, told her to show us pictures that we haven't seen, not pictures we have seen. So we spent about 30 minutes looking through her classes photo album, which showed her and her classmates through the years. We were given permission to take photographs of these photographs, which was a real treat. V, along with B and K, then joined us, and the girls wanted to show us more pictures on a DVD. While the teacher got the TV on and the DVD going, each girl went down the hall to get chairs for us. They were emphatic that we wait while they bring the chairs, first for the four of us, and then for each of them.

In the groupa room.

Thumb wrestling

B, V, A, and me 

After watching pictures for a few minutes, the girls had an unexpected request, ZUMBA! Now for those of you who don't know me, I'm all about Zumba. Those of you who do know me know that sentence is nonsense. After 17 minutes of falling, shadowboxing, stumbling, looking confused, and generally eating an extra large FAIL sandwich, it was over. Someone somewhere may someday post a video of this event, but it won't be me, it won't be here, and it won't be today. The girls were great at it, and we got the impression they do it fairly regularly for exercise.

Next they wanted to take us for a walk outside. It was a clear cold day, probably around 20 degrees, with about 8 inches of very dry snow. We walked behind the orphanage to a couple of playgrounds. The snow did not stop the girls from playing, and the adults got into it as well. See below. 

Clearing snow off the stools so we could sit down, at the girls' request. 

Didn't take long for the horse play to start.

A enjoying the snow.

V and A. It won't be like this for Tennessee winters.

A and V

After we came in, we had a real treat. Two young ladies from a local church who visit the orphanage each Thursday arrived. They were both overflowing with joy for the girls in a way that is not often seen. They each gave us 3 or 4 hugs, and told us in English how the girls have missed us and have asked them to pray that their American families would return for them. Now they were there to witness those prayers being answered and were overjoyed. I can't describe what a blessing it was to meet them and again be reminded how beautifully God brought all this together in His perfect timing. To know that the girls have been prayed for by so many people and lovingly cared for was overwhelming. I know I have used that word a lot, but it's a propo for the adoption experience. 

Local believers rejoicing with the girls. Joyous moment.

Big hugs all around. 

Finally, A wanted to show us her bedroom, which she shares with 3 other girls. Julie and I sat with her on the bed. She had three of the pictures we sent her during the fall, one hanging up on the wall by her bed and two on a small, communal cabinet. There were no other personal effects. She wanted to look at pictures and videos on Julie's phone, particularly some videos taken of our kids over Christmas. We can tell she misses them and wants to see them again. She made a video for them as well.

                   A in her bedroom. Difficult to see, but there is a picture of our whole family that she had taped to the wall by the curtain. The bed was rock hard.

A and Mama.

A and Papa.

During this time, we also got to see several of her friends at the orphanage, two of whom we previously met when they were hosted by families in Nashville. The children were all curious and sweet, smiling and greeting us. A was so proud to introduce us as "otyets" and "mahts" (Dad and Mom) to the kids. Soon, our facilitator said it was time to go, and we had leave a bit abruptly, which visibly affected A. We were quick to tell her that we would see her again "Zavtra" (tomorrow) and she was OK again. Another snowy walk back to the car, only this time A wanted to hold my hand along the way. We each got two or three hugs, more I love yous, and goodbyes. Of course, A again fussed about my gloves, and even told our translator to tell me that it was cold out and I had to wear my gloves and hat! As we were leaving, one of the little boys that we met and who is a friend of A, lil V, approached us and asked for us to please help find him a home and family. It was a very sad moment. We told him we would try. As we were leaving, he approached our facilitator and again, very emphatically, asked for a family. He said he would be a good boy, would do as many chores as were asked of him, whatever it takes, but to please find him a Mama and Papa. This was almost too much to hear, and causes me to tear up now just recalling it. We knew this was likely to happen and tried to prepare ourselves, but it still hits you very hard. Several of the children had a sad look as we were leaving, and we wondered what it must be like for them to see their peers find a family while they have to remain alone. I'll have more to say on this later, including some information about a few of these precious kids that we have gotten to know. We want to be their advocates in the US, and we are certain that if God can see our family through the adoption process in our current circumstances, then He can see anyone through the adoption process. Meanwhile be prayer for the fatherless all over the world, that they would come to know their Heavenly Father and find an earthly family as well.  

After we left we dropped off our facilitator at the local SDA office so she could do her thing. Ukrainians can run on snowy and icy sidewalks with no trouble. Many women do it wearing 4 inch heels. Pretty amusing to see. After dropping her off, we went to a grocery store to get a few gifts for family and friends back home. 

We had dinner at the same Italian place tonight as last night, which is ever funnier when you consider that B and K have had dinner there each of the last 5 or 6 nights! It's become a running joke. Our facilitator is the type who finds something she likes and wants to stick with it. She and her husband are really the best, and have great, American style senses of humor as well. We have shared many laughs together. 

It's difficult to consider that tomorrow is the last day we will see A for several more weeks. We are a bit concerned about how she will take the news, and are trying to think of ways to soften the blow. We are sure she will understand, but this is a child that has been left, literally abandoned, by a parent once before. We would appreciate your prayers in that regard. We think we may leave her some things of ours as a token. In any case, it will be an emotional day tomorrow. We are so excited to be getting close to going home and seeing our kids and family but equally heartsick at leaving A here. 

Love and prayers to you all,

Michael and Julie